If I were to fall, would you catch me?
by Takeru-ishida
Summary: you can't control who you fall in love with...complete yaoi and incest warning
1. ichi

If i were to fall, who would catch me?  
  
I stood at the edge of the platform and gazed down at the streets below, lights flashed from cars and buses, people going places and me, I was all alone. Everyone beneathe me was laughing, joking around, hanging out with there firends, but not me, I was alone. The air was chilly that night as the last sakura petals floated softly around me, the last of the season. I pulled my Jacket tighter up around my neck as the chilly wind blew against my creamy exposed chest. I really didnt want to be alone, but here I stood, above the world and not one single mortal noticed me at all. I felt bad only leaving a note to my brother, but how could I tell him to his face that I was going to die? I honestly didnt want to leave him behind, and I knew by doing this i would be protecting him from me, i was in love with him. Incest everyone would call it. or in plane terms its wrong, he was my blood, i cant be with him. A tear slid down my frozen cheek as I leaned a little further to the edge of the building. The wind rushed through my hair as i almost lost my balance.  
  
"So this is goodbye?"   
  
I turned to face Matt behind me, I didnt want to see him. I didnt want his eyes to see me and what I was about to do. I froze in a panic and leaned closer to the edge.   
  
"Yomato, i have to...now you know how I feel."   
  
Matt held the paper out in front of him. "So I do." His voice was full of no emotion, just bland and straight forward.   
  
"I love you Matt, i have to save you from me. we cant be together bro." I cried softly.  
  
"Why not."   
  
My heart stopped, was he actually questioning me this? I leaned back from the edge.  
  
"What are you saying?"   
  
"Im telling you I love you."   
  
I paused, i didnt breathe, i didnt cry, nothing.  
  
"Not the same way i love you, i...want to be with you yomato. I wanna wake up every morning by your side in your arms, i wanna make love to you, i want you to make love to me. Its wrong, i cant be with you."   
  
I felt a pair of strong arms wrap their ways around me, my heart stopped as I struggled to be thrown from the edge into the streets below. Matt pulled me from the edge and onto the roof holding me tightly.  
  
"Dont leave me Takeru."   
  
Was he crying...for me? I looked down at his tear filled eyes, they ran down his cheeks in streams. Why was matt crying for me? Does he really mean what he says? He leaned in close to me as I pulled my head back.  
  
"I thought you wanted this?" He cried.  
  
"I do, but I dont want you preasured into kissing your own brother Yamato, i do realize its wrong."   
  
"Will you stop." He pleaded. "I want to be with you too, dont you get it Takeru. Ive wanted you the same way you want me now, Your my brother Takeru, I want to love you, I always have. I just didnt want to hurt you or drive you away so I kept my feelings locked up tight...." There was a strong pause between us as I chocked my tears back, or tried to. "PLease be with me Takeru...forever."   
  
"Oh matt." I threw my arms around him as our lips met, we cried in eachothers arms as the wind blew against us, out tears frozen to our faces, we didnt stop, we kissed like I had never kissed anyone before. Passion was behind each little murmur as our lips were sealed together tightly, and for that moment, I felt bliss. 


	2. ni

2  
  
I awoke the next morning to sound of clattering pots and pans from our kitchen, Matt must have been trying to please me again. I looked in matts mirror next to his bed, my eyes were red and swollen from crying all night.   
  
"this cant be good for my image." i said quietly to myself.   
  
The phone rang as Matt cursed on his way to answer it.  
  
"hello? oh hey wuts up- not much you?- awesome-7?- oh yeah thats right, well I'll be there- yeah huh, okay- cya later." The phone was put down as matt brought in a bowl of ceral to me.  
  
"If you made ceral what was all the noise out there?"   
  
"Well i tried, to make you breakfast that is."   
  
I nodded as i stood up, i took the bowl from him and headed to the bar where i sat down.  
  
"I have a concert tonight, across the river in odaiba, wanna come?"   
  
My eyes lit up.   
  
"Of course, when?"   
  
"its at 7:00"   
  
I finished off my cereal as matt cleaned up his mess.  
  
"Its about 5:00 now matt, we should be going soon."   
  
"Yeah your right, I guess we slept all day huh?" Matt scratched his head.   
  
"We always do, just not usually in the same bed." I leaned against the wall. "Im sorry if Im a bother matt."   
  
He walked towards me and hugged softly.  
  
"Your not a bother takeru, please dont think that."   
  
I smiled. I guess it was true then, we loved eachother. whether it was wrong or disgusting, we were in love.   
  
I threw some stuff in my bag as Matt zipped up his guitar and threw it over his back, he was dressed in his tight yet loose fitting black pants and his usual black shirt with a white tie worn loosely around his bare neck as a few buttons were un-done. His hair was unruly with the scent of gel still filtering about him. He opened the door to the elevator as we steeped in.   
  
"Your quiet, your usualy really hyper before a performance." He told me.   
  
"well i guess im still tired."   
  
"You dont have to come, or you can sleep in the back while the concert is going on."   
  
"No i wanna see you, its been a really long time Yamato." I complained.  
  
He just smiled as the doors opened and we cotinued out of the building, light powdery snow fell down on us as we walked to the car. I slid my hands into my hoodie, Matt pushed the button on his key ring to unlock the doors as he opened mine and the back to put his guitar in. I sat down as he closed ot behind me, then he ran in the front to his side as I went ahead and started up the car and turned the heat on.   
  
"Its fucking freezing." He alarmed me.   
  
"Id be freezing to death too if I wasn't wearing much in the winter like you bro."   
  
"You have to admit I look good eh?" He bragged.   
  
I blushed and nodded, of course he looked good he always looked good no matter what he wore. He couldve been running around in a bunny suit and still look hott as hell. Matt pulled out of the garage as I slid in my Gackt album so Matt could train his voice on our way there. Matts voice sounded even better than Gackts At times, and thats pretty tough to beat, as my angel sung i leaned back in my seat as we drove towards odaiba. 


	3. san

3  
  
I sat on a huge speaker as Matt coversed with the other members of the band during their warm-up. I drank some of my soda as they all played a few noted together, matt had already worked up a bit of a sweat, beads of persperation slid down his skinny toned arms as he gripped his guitar and sang into the mic. His hair stayed tight in place. Once they finished their warm-up and let his little fan girls into the auditorium his group and him left stage to rest a bit before performing, Yamato led me back to his changing room as he wiped his face off with a blue towel and threw it over the sink. Someone banged on his door.  
  
"15 mins yamato, be ready."   
  
"Yeah yeah, slave driver." Yama whispered to me.   
  
I smiled as Matt brought me into an embrace and held me tight.  
  
"Im glad your here takeru." He said happily.  
  
"Well it has been a while since ive seen you perform."  
  
He held me for a bit longer and then turned to the fridge in the corner and grabbed a bottle of water out and tore the cap off. As he bent his head back to take a drink i lowered my eyes to his neck and they wondered down to his chest where his shirt was open. I sighed in pleasure of seeing his creamy skin.  
  
"You ok?"   
  
"huh?" I blushed. "Yeah im fine, why would anything be wrong, everything is A-okay, yep...."   
  
Matt looked at me confused as his mouth faded into a grin as he bent down and pressed his lips to mine, I closed my eyes as his tounge slid its way into my mouth hesitantly.  
  
"Well well, i thought we'd never make it."   
  
"We wouldve been here sooner if you wouldnt have gotten us lost."   
  
Matt pulled back as Tai and davis forced their ways into his dressing room argueing over davis's poor sense of direction, i blushed as so did matt.   
  
"did we interupt brotherly love?" Tai teased.  
  
Matt blushed an even darker shade of red, was he embarassed of me? why did we have to hide? I thought he loved me, as i did him.   
  
"Tai shut-up, your....your always such a jerk, i was just trying to talk to T.K."   
  
Talk? more like have your way with me. I looked at him confused as he cracked a joke to tai, Davis came and sat next to me on matts couch.  
  
"Hey loser." he said to me as he ruffled my hair.  
  
"hey." I answered, matt looked back at me as i looked away in anger.  
  
"Yamato, i told you 14 mins ago that you needed to be on stage in 15, why arent you on your way?" His manager grumbled at him.   
  
"Oh sorry, guess i just lost track of time, im there."   
  
His manager nodded and headed out.  
  
"well guys lets go." tai said as Davis got up and started down the hallway before everyone, Tai was close behind as matt stood in the door.   
  
"You coming bro?"   
  
I looked away with teary eyes. "Give me a sec I'll be there...k"   
  
He lowered his head and turned down the hallway towards the screaming girls, their noise filtered through his open door until it slammed shut with the weight, the noise was gone all that filled the room was my crying. I wailed as i poured my face into my hands.  
  
"Why dont you love me matt? Why? I try so hard to make you love me, what am I doing wrong......Yama...." I sobbed silently as i tried to dry my leaking eyes with my sleeve. I looked down at my hoodie.  
  
"This is matts." I said quietly to myself. I tore it off me and held it tightly. "oh yama." I breathed in his scent as i sobbed on it. "I want you love me matt, just love me...please, i dont want to be with anyone else but you, my Yama-kun. I sobbed against the fabric more as my eyes burned, tonight was going to be a long night. 


	4. yon

4  
  
I dried my eyes and sat up on the couch still holding his hoodie to my nose. I dried my eyes on my shirt.  
  
"Yama's hoodie doesnt diserve to have my tears shed on it." I threw it on the back of the couch as i headed out towards the stage side to see Matt perform.  
  
I could hear his Voice rang high as i walked towards him, it was almost as if I was in a trance, his voice was just...so beautiful like the rest of him. I made my way between Davis and Tai, Daisuke threw his arms around my shoulders.   
  
"Your just in time, Matt just announced that this was a ballad for someone special."   
  
I loooked at Matt out on stage as he held the mic.   
  
"Someone special?" I asked.   
  
"Yeah, thats right. I bet its Tai." Davis laughed.   
  
"Hey thats nothing to kid about Daisuke!"   
  
"Well you did say matt had a thing for you didnt you Taichi?" Davis laughed harder.  
  
"He did?" I asked.   
  
"well......we were young, we didnt know what we were doing and...hey why are we talking about this anyways?"   
  
"Did you guys do anything?" Davis asked.  
  
Tai blushed.  
  
"well actually, he pushed me away and told me he was wanting to be with someone else."   
  
"that sux, i thought i was going to hear something juicy." Davis complained as Tai grabbed him and put his ass in a head lock.   
  
I was too busy smiling in matts direction as he continued to sing, with his eyes closed his voice rang on a high note. I bet the gods were really jealous now, how could they not be.   
  
"hes amazing." Daisuke complemented as he slid his arm around my waist. I was kinda too busy to notice until he forced himself on me, kissing around on my neck. I pushed him off.   
  
"what the fuck are you doing Daisuke?" I yelled.   
  
"well i was just thinking,maybe...we could be together."   
  
"huh? are you crazy?"   
  
Davis lowered his head.   
  
"it was just a thought Takeru, please dont be mad at me."   
  
I looked away. "its ok, i was...i was just caught off my guard thats all."   
  
Davis smiled as we continued to watch Matt sing, i felt him smilling til the very end.  
  
About 2 hours later matt finished up with a big bang as all his girls were screaming out loudly, he walked off stage as Tai threw his arms around him.  
  
"Oh my god Yamato you were awesome."   
  
"Thanks Tai."   
  
Tai let him go and turned to davis.  
  
"well retard lets go." Tai said as he grabbed his arm.  
  
"Hey Im not a retard okay, im just not that bright."   
  
They walked off down the hallway as matt led me back to his room.  
  
"matt i want to ask you something."   
  
"yeah bro." He closed the door behind me as I sat down on the couch.  
  
"Why cant we tell anyone about us?"   
  
"Takeru..." he paused and then sat next to me putting his arm around me pulling me closer to him. "Takeru we have to keep it between us becuz if it gets out, they will take you away from me."   
  
My heart dropped, we were in love...and couldnt tell anyone, our parents were onrthing, but everyone else, our fiends, matts band memebers, we had to keep everything we did inside our house.   
  
"OKay...i understand...now."   
  
"Im sorry Takeru, i want to tell everyone about us believe i do, I want everyone to know i love you, that I'll always be here for you."   
  
"Oh matt." I hugged him tightly as he ran his fingers through my golden locks, it always soothed me.   
  
"Dont worry T.K., no one has to know what we do, its our buisiness anyways."   
  
I nodded. That was all the proof i needed, he loved me the same way i loved him, he just wanted to protect me from everybody. protect me, thats it. My head cheered for joy as Matt planted a few kisses on my forehead.  
  
"It'll be okay Takeru, you'll always be safe with me." 


	5. go

5  
  
We collected his stuff as he turned to his group.  
  
"you guys sure you'll be fine with clean up?" They all nodded. "Id stay, but i gotta get my little brother home."   
  
He took my hand and waved at everyone as he turned quick on his heels towards the exit.  
  
"Matt are you sure you can hold my hand like this."   
  
"your my little brother, you think somebody will actually question why i hold your hand?" He smiled at me.   
  
"well...no."   
  
He opened the door as a rush of cold air chilled his body.  
  
"damn its cold out here." He gripped on to my hand tighter.  
  
I looked down at his hoodie i held tightly in my hand.  
  
"here." I handed it to him.  
  
"its okay I'll be fine T.K."   
  
"No take it please, i already have a big long sleeve shirt on."   
  
He took it from me and handed me his guitar from off his back. He slid it over his head. I played a few notes on a song we wrote together. He looked at me as I smiled. but that smile soon faded as he didnt smile back, it was just a faint stare.  
  
"Whats wrong yamato?"   
  
"nothing." He took the guiter form me and swung it back around his back, he continued to stare.  
  
"Yama? please...whats wrong?"   
  
"You've been practicing?"   
  
"Yeah." i looked at him confused.  
  
His face slowly turned to a sad look as his eyes his eyes filled up with tears.  
  
"oh takeru, youve been practicing." He threw his arms around me.  
  
"is it really that surprising Yama."   
  
"I dont know how to explain it Takeru, but im really touched that you actually play our..song."   
  
"Matt? was that song you sung tonight, your ballad...was it for me?"   
  
"yeah, it was."   
  
Tears slid down my cheeks onto matts shoulders as he held me close. He took me by the hand again as we walked towards his car. He opened my door for me again as I climbed in. I started up the car and took out my Gackt CD.  
  
"Why'd you take it out?" Matt asked me.  
  
"I just wanted to put something else in, is that okay?"   
  
Matt caresed my cheek with his hand as I smiled warmly at him.  
  
"its fine, put what ever you want in, k bro."   
  
I smiled as I dug into my book-bag some more, I finally found what i was looking for. I slid it in and turned it down a little form where i had gackt. The song Bois soothed both of us as my head leaned against the cold glass. I felt so content at that moment, matt shifted gears as I slid my hands across the seat to lay it down on his hand on the shift. I turned his hand over and laced my fingers through his and held his hand tightly. He smiled as i rested my head on the seat between us, he felt his fingers run through my hair as he let my hand go, I closed my eyes.   
  
"I love you Takeru." I closed my eyes, those words, how? How could three words make me feel so full of happiness, im never happy, not really. But when Im with matt, everything is differant, i dont have to pretend about anything, at all. He always made me feel comfortable, that i could always be myself around him when ever i wanted to. I never hasd to hide anything from him, he knew me thats why. Thats why i loved him so much, becuz he would always understand everything that im going through, or about to go through, that he would always be there, to hold me, to kiss me, to watch my cartoons with me that i know he hates, yet watches anyways, becuz hes with me. No matter what im doing as long as he can be next to me hes happy, like me. I felt his soft hands run through my hair somemore as I sighed in content. I slid my hand towards his leg, i clenched onto his lose fitting black pants and pulled my head closer to his lap.  
  
"i love you to...onisan." 


	6. roku

6  
  
I felt a light tug on my shoulder as i opened my eyes.  
  
"T.k.? were home bro."   
  
I sat up rubbing the sleep from my eyes, the light inside matts car was blinding. I grabbed my book-bag as matt got out to open my door for me, i crawled out of his car, i streached as matt hugged me.  
  
"you said onisan earlier...before you fell asleep."   
  
I blushed. "I did?"   
  
"you havent said that to me since when we were in the digital world, when you were younger, oh t.K. i love you so much."   
  
Tears swelled up in my eyes. he was right after all, i hadnt called him onisan for a long time now, 8 years to be exact. I hugged him back as my book bag fell to cold ground in the parking garage. We stood in a tight embrace for awhile until matt pulled back to pick up my book-bag for me. He took my hand again and pulled me towards the elevator, when we got inside he held me infront of him with his hands resting around my shoulders. I lifted my hand slowly to hold on to his arm.  
  
"were gonna be together...forever right matt?"   
  
"Forever...and beyond."   
  
I smiled as the doors opened on our level 72, out apt floor, Matt led me out to our apt. I opened the door as matt through all our stuff onto the couch and layed his keys down on the bar. He un-zipped his guitar case and layed it on the stand and folded up the case and slid it in his closet. I slouched down in the chair as matt pulled a box of pizza out of the freezer.  
  
"i can make this for you if you want me to Takeru."   
  
i lifted my eyes and shook my head. "im not that hungry Matt, i think I'll get a shower and go to bed."   
  
He nodded as he put it back.  
  
"Want me to run your water for you bro? I'll get it ready for you k."   
  
I nodded as I headed up stairs to my room to get a change of clothes, I heard matt start up the shower water as I grabbed a pair of boxers, i was only going to bed why both with a whole outfit. i shrugged and threw the boxers over my shoulder as I grabbed my tooth brush and hair products. I walked into shower room as Matt removed his hand from the water.  
  
"I guess its warm enough." He shook his hand dry and turned towards me. "let me know when your done, i need to get one too, unless you want to sleep with someone who smells of B.O."   
  
I looked around. "You can take one with me."   
  
Matt smiled at those words, i blushed.  
  
"OK."   
  
My eyes widened, did he? I think he did.  
  
"You sure?"   
  
"are you?" He asked back at me.  
  
I smiled and nodded.  
  
"I need to get some clothes, i'll be right back."   
  
He walked past me I stripped down and stepped under the warm water. It ran all down my body as I leaned my head under the shower head and wrinced the gel from my hair. I felt a soft touch on my shoulder as it trailed back and to my side.  
  
"I'll wash it for you takeru." Matt grabbed the shampoo form the rack and poured some into his hand, he set it back as he began washing my hair. I closed my eyes as every nerve in my body had been stimulated to its full potential, my scalp tickled as Matt pushed his hands through my hair. He wricned it off and did the same with the conditioner. As he finished he turned me around as something surprised him.   
  
"T.K. im sorry i didnt mean to...uh."   
  
I turned around quickly and buired my face in shame in the palms o fmy hands.  
  
"Im so sorry matt."   
  
"T.K. its allright, its not like im....afraid of it."   
  
I turned my head around.  
  
"well it is kinda embarassing."   
  
"I know it is, trust me."   
  
"Matt?"   
  
"Yeah takeru."   
  
I leaned forward and gripped onto him.  
  
"I want you."   
  
I kissed around Matts neck earning little pants from him, he ran his fingers through my hair as I stroked myself. I lfelt how thick i had gotten, and so quickly to. I cotinued to kiss matt as he leaned down and pulled my lips to his, out tounges were in a rage for power as we kissed eachother passionately, my tounge explored every inch until he pulled back and slid his tounges down my wet chest. My face twisted into absolute pleasure at the feel of Yama's searing wouth wrap its way around my stiff desire. I ran my hands down his head and helped him take me all the way in, I gasped repeatidly at the sight of how i was being pulled deeper and deeper into Yama's mouth.  
  
"Oh yama-kun."   
  
He moaned in the back of his throat as it sent vibrations through my erection. I felt myself being poured into matts mouth as i gripped his hair tightly in my hands. He cleaned me up as he stood up to stedy me on my feet. i swayed as he held on to my shoulders stabilizing me on the wet tiles, once he figured it was no use he pulled me against him in an embrace. He ran his hands up and down my back as i tried to regain my composure. I released little puffs of breath out onto his colar bone as he just held me.  
  
"Are you okay Takeru?"   
  
"Yeah...Im...fine." i tried to say straight to him. "Its my first time."   
  
Matt chuckled. "I noticed."   
  
I blushed again, im sure matt could feel the radiation coming of my cheeks. I just stood there in an embrace, my skin against, Yama's, the water ran down us as we stood, it was as if time had stood still, i wish it had never come to an end. 


	7. nana

7  
  
I stood before matt in our steam filled shower room as he dried me off, i had never recieved such care from him before. He ruffled my hair with the towel.   
  
"well i feel much better." he streached with a towel wrapped around his waist.  
  
I brushed my teeth as i tried to slide my boxers up my thin legs, Matt reached around me to help pull them up. He dragged them up to my waist line and held onto my thin waist as he kissed my shoulder.  
  
"There you go."   
  
"Thanks onisan." I said with a mouth full of tooth paste.  
  
He laughed at me as he walked out of the bathroom, i blushed, again. I finished brushing my teeth as I walked past Matts room, he pulled his blankets down as he fluffed his pillows some what.  
  
"g'nite." I told him as i paused int he door frame. Matt looked at his bed and then back at me.   
  
"Night." He said almost as if sad.  
  
I turned to leave, "Takeru."   
  
"huh?" I answered him quickly.  
  
"You...can sleep in here with me if you want."   
  
I turned to look at matt, he actually looked vulnerable to me, at that moment matt was vulnerable, almost as is if I needed to protect him. Like he wanted me to protect him. I walked up behind him.  
  
"Id love to."   
  
He turned to smile at me. I threw my stuff on the floor and climbed into matts bed. He turned off his bed side lamp as I crawled up beside him. He wrapped his arm around my thin waist.   
  
"I love you Takeru."   
  
"I love you too Onisan."   
  
I felt his hand caress my side softly, i felt myself growing hard again. Matts hand wondered down around to my hard member, caressing me gently. He buried his nose into my hair breathing in my scent, he kissed my neck.   
  
"You smell so good Takeru, you always do."   
  
He slid his hand to my ass, feeling my muscles tense at his touch, i turned to wrap my arms around him and slide one leg on each side of him pushing the weight of my hips down on his own desire.   
  
"Oh takeru."   
  
how i longed to hear those words pass Matts lips, the way he said it, it sent waves of pleasure up my spine. He slid both hands down around my ass pushing my hips closer down on him, I rubbed our erections together roughly as my tounge danced along his neck. He breathed into my ear as i continued to bump us together. He turned me over and pushed his weight down on me, i sure didnt mind. He slid his tounge down my chest once more aiming at my hardness, i arched my hips into the air as he nibbled at my hip.  
  
"oh yama-kun" I breathed.  
  
He tugged at my boxers as i helped him pull them off, he pulled himself back up and kissed me gently, out tounged danced gently in a waltz.  
  
"Yama, i want to do it to you this time."   
  
He brushed stray strands of gold hair away from my eyes as he gazed into them deeply. he nodded and turned over. i pulled down his boxers and threw them to the floor. The scent of matts manhood filled my nose as my mouth watered.   
  
"Go ahead takeru, its okay."   
  
I took my tounge and licked at his head gently, he threw his head back at my touch. He slid my tounge up and down his hard length as he cotinued to take deeps breaths. I slid his head into my mouth as he looked back down at me, I took him all the way in as his eyes widened.  
  
"Oh fuck!" He yelled silently.  
  
"whats wrong? did I do it wrong Yama? im sorry."   
  
Matt grabbed me.   
  
"no, your fine its..just that you took me, all of me at once, all 8 inches of me."   
  
I smiled as he pulled me into an embrace.  
  
"your fine Takeru."   
  
I pressed my lips tight to his as our tounges danced once more, i pulled back as Matt lapped his tounge around the base of my neck.  
  
"Matt? I want it now."   
  
He stopped to look at me, he gazed at me for a while as i panted.  
  
"are you sure?"   
  
i nodded as he reached into his bed side tabled and pulled out a tube of KY. He turned me over as I offered my ass up to him. He leaned down and slid his tounge along my crack, my eyes widened at the intrution of his tounge probing me, but I allowed it. I lubed one of his fingers and circled my virgin ring.  
  
"Takeru, this might hurt at first, but i promise it will get better okay."   
  
I winced at the thought of pain but i nodded and allowed him entrance inside me. I felt the ring tear as he pushed his finger deep inside me, i grabbed the sheets as i gasped.   
  
"just relax takeru ok."   
  
I held on tight to the sheets as he moved his finger in and out of me, slowly. He added another finger as it tore some more. I bit my lower lip.  
  
"oh yama, stop please, it hurts."   
  
he continued to streach me as I whined to him. He added his third finger, streaching, tearing me inside. I flung my eyes opened as his fingers caressed this hidden part of me deep inside, My breathes were deeper now and full of pleasure as i cried out to matt to keep going, I pleaded with matt to not stop. I begged in the back of throat with moans and gasps that escaped ever so often.   
  
"See takeru it doesnt hurt does it."   
  
He slid his fingers out of me, i whimpered at the loss. He positioned himself up between my crack and nudged his way in with his erection. I gripped the sheets, this was a bit bigger than his three fingers, i tore a little more and winced abit until he got his thrust motions right and in tune with my spot. I moaned in the back of my throat as Matts girth massaged my depths.  
  
"Oh yama-kun."   
  
"Yes takeru."   
  
"oh...yama-kun!"   
  
He pounded himself deep with in me, i threw my head back in pleasure as Matt slid his hand around my side and grabbed my erection and began to stroke me slightly. He pumped me as I screamed out his name, i have never known desire, i had never known want, i had never known Love, until that night. The way Matt was inside me, i felt safe. i knew he would always be there for me no matter what had come our way, we would always be joined like this, always.   
  
He pumped harded as i continued to yell out for him. He turned me over on my back and edged his way back inside me, no pain, no winceing, just wonderment at how beautiful my brother was. he continued to fuck into me as i lay on my back, my hands slid up and down his back, twirling strands of his long blonde hair through my fingers, feeling his sweat soaked skin against mine. It was amazing all on its own. I felt matts seed explode with in me as he pumped me and I came in his hand, splahing agaisnt his stomach and mine as well. i panted as matt sat up pulling himself out of me, he leaned down and licked my come off my stomach from the little pool in formed on me. He sat back up as I leaned up and cleaned my mess off him, the mixture of mine ans his that still lay silently on his erection tasted so sweet to me I couldnt believe it.  
  
"You taste so good onisan." I told him as i looked up at him.  
  
He collapsed on top of me in an embrace, his sweaty body pressing down on top of me i sighed in content running my fingers through his hair.   
  
"matt? how can you be so perfect? everything about you, your hair, smile, your beautiful voice. Its all so perfect, and yet, im not at all, theres nothing special about me, yet you love me anyways."   
  
"Takeru." He said sadly, he held me closer. "Takeru, i love you becuase you love me, you accept me, the good and the bad. You love me, not for what i can do, but for who i really am deep inside......and for that i will always adore you, my love, my...little brother."   
  
Tears swelled up in my eyes, he was right, i did love all his qualities, good and bad. but, was i really all that great as Matt thought i was? 


	8. hachi

8  
  
I awoke to the sound of matt lighting up a cigarette in the living room, fumbling with it and such, cursing out loud. I hid under the covers. when he had one i knew it ment something was wrong, terribly wrong. I peeled the sheets off my head and headed towards the door.  
  
"fuck!"   
  
I hid around the doorframe peeking out to see him sitting there with it in his mouth, with the liighter that wouldnt work. He threw against the T.V.  
  
"Onisan?"   
  
He stopped to turn his head slowly towards me, his eyes were red from crying. As I went to comfort him there was a loud knock at the door. He was startled, seetting the cigerette down he got up and wiped his eyes.  
  
"Who is it?" He asked sadly. I frowned.  
  
"Open this god damn door before i break the fucker down."   
  
Matt turned the dead bolt as the door came swinging open knocking Yama to the ground. Tai steeped in holding a newspaper, he folded it and swatted at matt who sat helplessly on the floor. He kicked him over as Matt tried to stand.  
  
"I cant believe you woudl do something like this, this.....this is disgusting!"   
  
He held the newspaper in front of his face.  
  
"Its all over the news Ishida."   
  
"You think I havent seen it, I saw it over and over again, its all they've been playing."   
  
I looked at Tai, I was confused. What was on the news, what was the picture on the front of the newspaper?  
  
"Where is he?" Tai asked.  
  
Matt didnt answer he just tried to pull himself up to his feet. TAi grabbed at his colar and pushed against the wall.  
  
"Where the fuck is your little brother Ishida!"   
  
Matt still didnt answer, Tai was growing impatient, He balled up his fist and sent a fast strike at Matts face, then another to his torso knocking the wind from him. He fell to his knees gasping for air.  
  
"You make me sick ishida."   
  
I burst from my hiding place to push Tai away then kneel next to matt trying to comfort him. I lifted his head up as blood seeked its way from his mouth to his chin. I hugged him as Tai kicked me away. Matt stood and pushed tai against the bar.  
  
"He has nothing to do with this Kamiya. Just go now."   
  
Matt glared at Tai as he fixed his coat and headed out the door. He slammed it shut behind him. I looked up at matt from the floor as he stood with his back turned to me, i watched his back rise and fall with his deep enraged breathes he was taking.  
  
"Im sorry Takeru."   
  
"but...why?"   
  
He turned towards the TV and flipped it on. There was a video camera filming us lastnight in his car, and then when we got home. There it was, our love displayed for the whole world to see. Young fangirls were running around being interviewed by the news host.  
  
"Excuse me what do you think of matts actions?"   
  
"I think its disgusting." those words burned me. " I have listened to his music since he was playing in the front of his house, ive been to every concert here in japan, but i had no idea that he was a incestuous. it makes me sick."   
  
Matt turned it off. "what we did has been playing all morning. Im sorry this happened." Matt sobbed with his back still turned towards me.  
  
I got up and walked towards him cautiously, i reached up and hugged on his arm.  
  
"Even after all this you still love me?" I looked up at him and nodded. "takeru you truly are perfect." I broke down as Matt turned to hold me tight against him. His fingers raced through my hair as I cried on his white shirt that was unbuttoned around his neck, how did this happen to us?   
  
When i was younger i always believed that when you were inlove that everything didnt matter, that the world would accept you. But i guess i was wrong. 


	9. kyu

9  
  
Later that afternoon i grabbed some clothes and headed towards the shower to wash away my sadness, but i was kidding myself this wouldnt go away. I turned on the water as the sound of matts harmonica filled the bathroom, my eyes filled with tears. I stripped off my clothes and stepped in to wash up. The sound off the water drownded out his harmonica, i conditoned my hair as the warm water rushed over my thin frame.  
  
Once finished I stepped out to see matt no where, at first I thought that maybe he was out on the balcony, but it was just a passing thought. I opened the fridge to see a bento from last weekend, thats when it hit me. where was Yamato? He wasnt here, at all. I raced around the house looking, yelling, searching everywhere. He was gone, I threw my hoodie on and headed for hte door. Thats when I saw the note sitting on the bar. I walked towards it slowly, i opened it with a shaky hand as his harmonica fell out onto the floor at my feet. I stared at it, the memories hit me all at once like i was run over by a train. My eyes flooded with tears as they raced down my cheeks as I read the letter...  
  
Dear takeru,  
  
Im sorry for all the pain I caused you these past few days, i took your virginity and it hurts me to admit it. I violated you and it was wrong. Im going away now so you'll be safe. PLease dont ever forget me.  
  
Love your onisan,   
  
Yamato Ishida   
  
I crumbled up the paper in my hand and ran out the door, as I made it to the bottom floor cameras flashed in my face as ppl forced their ways towards me questioning what my brother had done to me? if he was forcing me into it? If the rumors were true? I was pulled aside by a tug as I was thrown into a car and it sped off down the street.  
  
"Are you ok?"   
  
I turned to see Kari next to me.  
  
"Kari? what are you..."  
  
"Are you okay?" She inturupted me.  
  
"Yeah im fine, do...do you hate me too?" She looked at me kinda dissapointed.  
  
"why would you think that? Im your friend, besides I think its adorable how your brother risk everything to be with you, i hope to find somebody like someday."   
  
"HEs not really risking anything Kari. He left me."   
  
She turned towards me slowly as she stopped at the light.  
  
"He told me, wed be together forever." I sobbed. "HE ran from me, when i needed him most."   
  
"Im sure he didnt."   
  
I handed her the note as she un-folded it and read what he had wrote me.  
  
"Oh...takeru."   
  
I broke down and cried out into my palms as she continued to drive me somewhere.  
  
"I thought he loved me Kari, he was perfect for me. The he leaves me here alone in a world i dont even understand, I love him." 


	10. ju

10  
  
Kari drove me to the subway and let me out.  
  
"Okay takeru your sure you'll be fine?"   
  
"Yeah, i guess all i can do now is go home." I grabbed my book bag up. "Thanks Kari."   
  
I closed the door as she drove off, i folded the note up and stuck my hand in my pocket and turnded down the stairs to the subway. As i dug a little deeper in my pocket I felt cold metal and pulled out Matts harmonica. I stopped in my tracks, I forgot I had this. It was like a symbol of love almost, a last good bye. I stuck it back into my pocket and felt a piece of paper and tugged on it. It was a picture of Me and Matt taken not too long ago. The corners were creased and it looked like it was in pretty bad shape, my eyes once again filled with tears at the sight of matt smiling and holding me lovingly. memories of lastnight when we made love for the first time flashed before my eyes, the way he took in consideration about how I felt, to make sure i was ok, to be gentle with me.   
  
"Hey faggot."   
  
I turned my head only to be knocked down to the ground, my picture fell in front of me as I reached for it, straining to pick it up, someone grabbed it up and tore it into pieces. I was kicked in my side as they all aughed. These were boyd form my school doing this to me, i figured by now everyone had to of seen me and Matt kiss in his car lastnight after the concert. I cried as they taunted me, trying to sheild my ears with my hands one of the boys were knocked to the ground by someone decked out in all black with a long trench coat on with a guitar case. He held the guitar by its neck and swung it around hitting the boys who were kicking and pulling on my hair. I felt blood race down my chin, the syruppy taste on my tounges as i coughed it up as well, spitting it out on to pavment of the subways floors. I tried to sit up as i was brought into an embrace. The strangers tears pattered on my skin as i slowly leaned into his chest breathing in a familiar scent.  
  
"oni...onisan?"   
  
He just continued to cry as he held me close.  
  
"oh takeru im so sorry, for everything."   
  
"No dont be."   
  
He held me closer as i pressed my face into his chest clenching onto his trench in my hand tightly. Matt cried? I saw him, heard him. I tried to comfort him, but at this point I felt nothing but helpless, what could I do to soothe his aching pains of what had happened to us? He was hurt even more than I was.  
  
"I was going to leave you."   
  
I nodded. "yeah you were."   
  
"I didnt want to, i just wanted to save you from me and i wanted to protect you from the world and everyone in it. I wanted you to live a sheltered life with me. I wanted you to feel protected, to be happy...." He paused.  
  
"I do."   
  
His heart paused at my words. He held me closer as he broke down some more, i hated to see matt cry, i always felt like it was my fault he was crying.  
  
"I love you so much Takeru."   
  
There and then i felt complete, that nothing could bring me down, i was in-destructable. My heart was filled with joy, pain, and saddness all at the same time. My head swirled in lust, envy, and love, i was so happy at that moment I blocked out the rest of the world. I knew that my Yama-kun would be with me no matter what. That he would protect me from everything that was dangerous. At that moment our hearts beat as one, our lips pressed together in a tight embrace of love and happiness, our fingers laced as he walked me back home for the whole world to see. Nothing mattered to me but one thing that day, My onisan.  
  
~Owari~ 


End file.
